5 min read

January 31, 2026

What you’re reading is a copy of an email newsletter sent by Stephen Simmons, Owner + Primary Mitigator at Umpire. This is an archive, so some links may be missing or expired.

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You probably don’t need this

Expert help without the sales pitch.

Here’s a secret: when people call me to ask a question about water damage or mold damage, I usually try to convince them they don’t need my services.

Let me explain what I mean.

One of my very first customers, Kerri, called me last week.

Umpire had taken care of some water damage for her several years ago, but I hadn’t heard from her since then.

And when she called the other day, it wasn’t because her dishwasher was leaking or a pipe had burst: it was because she had a question about mold.

She wasn’t looking for air testing or mold cleanup services. She just had a question.

And I’m glad - because those are the kinds of phone calls we’re here for.

I’ve told you before that with Umpire, you’ve officially got a “water guy.” (If you forget what I mean by that, you can refresh your memory here.)

That’s all well and good when you have an actual emergency on your hands - to have a Water Guy on speed dial when the dishwasher is leaking into the kitchen floor - but what does it matter the other 51 weeks of the year? (Or all 52, if you’re lucky and don’t have any home damage emergencies?)

It means you can call anytime with questions. No strings attached, no sales pitch - you just have someone in your corner who cares about your home, your family, and making sure you’ve got the info and the peace of mind you need.

When Kerri called last week, I could have suggested that Umpire conduct a mold air test or mold cleanup services - if she had needed them. But I listened to her question, and as we spoke, it became clear that her home didn’t need those things.

Having a “Water Guy” you can call doesn’t mean having a salesman on speed dial. It means having a neighbor you can trust to offer a transparent, expert opinion with your family’s and home’s best interests as the top priority.

So - here’s my number again, if you’d like to save it to your phone: (703) 665-1129

I’m here anytime to answer any questions you have.

Happy holidays,

Stephen

PS If you’re traveling for the holidays, remember to shut off your water before you go! This can help avoid huge water damage emergencies while you’re gone, so you can truly enjoy peace of mind this season.